at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize