Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
