it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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