Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
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The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
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No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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