No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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