Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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