If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
