But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
People in love make me want to vomit
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize