I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Randomize
