Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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