Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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