she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
this is an emotional support booty call
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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