I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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