his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
