I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
