I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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