What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
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