508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
