drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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