I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
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