Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
