Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
