shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
