we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
