How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
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