why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
