how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
