I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
