Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
