guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
