How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
