Slut skills are useful in every country.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
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