jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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