Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
