I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
