So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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