Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
My ass is underappreciated
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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