I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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