"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
