Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
