Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
The ass gains better be worth it
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