My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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