Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
