he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
