Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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