Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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