those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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