Sponge bath it is.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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