I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
