Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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