I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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