blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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