Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
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