Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
well you can't waste a boner
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
