but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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