How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
