Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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