Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
