Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Randomize
