you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
