WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
