She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
