I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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