Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
