Will you blow on my dice?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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