do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
