dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Small penises have feelings too.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Sacagawea was the original milf.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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