Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
